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Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:29:12 -0400

2008 MFMB Playoff Preview and Final Power Rankings

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:28:00 -0400

Looking back on 2008, some teams have risen to the occasion, some have fallen by the wayside, but all have been challenged and demeaned by our commissioner.

In this, the final Power Rankings of the epic 2008 MFMB Fantasy Baseball Season, it is time to reflect on a season that was, and preview a playoff race that promises to be nothing short of legendary.

PLAYOFF CONTENDERS
1. Fantasy’s Finest
Preseason Rank: 8
Superlatives: Most likely to become actual MLB GM

“…Their manager, Jimbo, has also been known to make a flurry of trades unexpectedly. With a weak draft, look for this team to make several moves before the first pitch of the season.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to lose this week to Jhonny Peralta, Casey Blake, and Ryan Zimmerman. What the fuck?”
-anonymous FF Week 18 opponent

No team ridden “Who’s Hot Who’s Not” feature to the top of the rankings better than Fantasy’s Finest. A wizard on the free agent market, Jimbo has built his powerhouse on advanced scouting – and always executing the right move at the right time. In this magical season, he has even turned the dumbest moves into the right moves: “I dropped NL ROY Geovany Soto? Oh, that’s okay, I’ll pick up Ryan Doumit.”

A key to fantasy success is the ability to distinguish fluke from trend. When Cliff Lee, Ervin Santana, and Edinson Volquez got off to hot starts, most GMs steered clear. The league saw a washed up, inconsistent loser with a 4.50+ career era, a guy who’s never lived up to his strikeout-king potential, and an unknown rookie with an inspiring afro. However, Fantasy’s Finest GM Jimbo saw the AL Cy Young Award Winner, Swervin’ Ervin Santana, and an unknown rookie with an inspiring afro. After spinning the peaked Volquez for Matt Cain and CG/SHO machine Matt Garza, Jimbo knew he had a pitching staff that could weather the playoffs.

If, in the final weeks of the season Ian Snell and Kei Igawa are looking like Cy Young and Walter Johnson, you can be sure that they’ll be spinning their gems as members of Fantasy’s Finest. There are no guarantees in LTD Fantasy Athletics, but with such a visionary at the helm, Fantasy’s Finest is the frontrunner to take the MFMB Crown.

Who’s Hot: (the benched) Troy Tulowitzki, Maggli-ho, aforementioned Doumit
Who’s Not: Pat the Bat, Delgado Del-Got-it, Aaron “I can start, promise” Heilman
Random Plate Ruling: Purce has chicken legs!

2. Gillerman & Co
Preseason Rank: 6
Superlatives: Most likely not to participate in MFMB ’09 after losing in Championship round, again

“…This team will need to rely heavily on the waiver wire to compete for a playoff spot. They will no doubt need to scrape and claw to keep from dropping into mediocrity.”

This team has been no stranger to DL stints this year. GM Gillerfag received even more bad news when team captain and future keeper Evan Longoria joined Rafael (Spanish for “The Awesome”) Furcal by crash landing on the Disabled List. As usual, the Gillerfag & Co owner was confident to the point of delusion in his replacements Akinori Iwamura and Placido Polanco:

“With the recent drop of Hunter Pence, our advanced scouting perceptively picked up that The Brosephs were looking to add Akinomorusushi, because the Brosephs love Asians, especially the Japanese- they are very fair men…We’re also very excited about our recent acquisition Placido Domingo- besides his stellar singing capabilities -which will keep the team loose during the playoff stretch, Placido can flat out hit”

Between managing his life as a hot shot bureaucrat, and creating a ruckus in the LTD Fantasy Football League, everyone’s favorite misanthrope (a general dislike, distrust, or hatred of the human species or a disposition to dislike and/or distrust other people) Johnny Drama, Esq. released this statement in regards to the upcoming playoff run:

“We’ve been to the dance before, and we’ve proven we can hang with the big boys. We’re also a much more talented team this year. While superior pitching remains our foundation, we now boast the power hitting that will make it tough for teams to stick with us.”

Despite his sometimes unwholesome antics, and the fact that he shaves only the bottom half of his chest (so that the man-fur is prominent when he wears polos), it is undeniable that Gillerman possess the talent and experience to lose in the championship round, again. Look for this squad to make a deep playoff run, only to blow it epically in the finals.

Who’s Hot: I guess Beltran? How is this team winning?
Who’s Not: Dioner Navarro is the starting catcher. Seriously.

Random Plate Ruling: Purse has Chicken Legs!

3. JAlter Hernandez
Preseason Rank: 1
Superlatives: Most Likely to frame pictures of himself; Loudest “Blammy”; Most Likely to have “very good” players on their roster

“…This squad may not be pretty or win any good sportsmanship awards, but be certain that they will be competing for a league championship again in ‘08.”

Rumors abound that Jalter Hernandez CEO, Jalter Hernandez, had unofficially written off the remainder of the season when stud outfielder (and top moon pie eater) Carlos Lee went down with a season ending injury. That night, Jalter went up to the eleventh floor of the East Tower, took nine shots of Bacardi Limon and in his emotional stupor callously dropped “sure fire” ace John Danks to the waiver wire. He then ordered D.P. Dough and ate Klass’s when Scott passed out before it got there.

Despite these rumors, all is not lost for the Jalter Hernandez franchise, as few teams have been hotter since the first month of the season. Led by the ‘throw in’ guy of the Jose Reyes deal Ian Kinsler, and ‘poor man’s Josh Hamilton’ Carlos Quentin, this offense is indeed formidable with or without El Caballo. However, with Lee out indefinitely, look for underachieving keeper ‘Big Papi’ David Ortiz to hoist this team up onto his enormous back in the closing weeks.

While a fantasy championship repeat is almost unheard of, Hernandez boldly stated at a recent press conference, “I have the creativity, experience, and all other necessary intangibles to win it all.” Armed with the heart of a champion, the agility of a cheetah, and the handsomeness of Derek Jeter, look for “the great one” to lead his team deep into the MFMB playoffs.
Wait a second, the handsomeness of Derek Jeter? What am I smoking? This guy has Adam Jones good looks.

Who’s Hot: Aubrey “how am I still fantasy relevant” Huff, Carlos Quentin, Marlon “Seriously, my name is Marlon” Byrd
Who’s Not: this team is hot.
Random Plate Ruling: Kimba!

4. Coach Sojos Charmers
Preseason Rank: 2
Superlatives: Least Likely to Succeed in life because of Fantasy Baseball; Most Likely to put “good ol’ “ in front of most words

“…If The Charmers can provide some additional pitching support for ace Justin Verlander, they may very well become the team to beat in MFMB.”

The Gordon Bombay of fantasy athletics, it is no secret that Coach Louey has put together the most formidable offense in Mr. Faggy Mugoodoo’s Boys Fantasy Baseball League. Led by his own version of Fulton Reed in Josh “The Natural” Hamilton, and top echelon studs Hanley Ramirez, David Wright, and even good ol’ Coors-loving Matt Holliday - the Charmers’ prodigious lumber is well documented.

However, pitching has been another story all-together for the Charmers. While Gordon Bombay could teach a figure skater Kenny Woo to score, it took a new coach, a new school, a new goalie, and a third movie to teach The Ducks to play defense. Coach Louey’s championship hopes may rest squarely on his offense carrying his sub-par pitching staff.

This season, the Charmers bullpen has become fondly known as “Coach Louey’s Second Chance Pitcher’s Rehab Program.” This basically involves rolling the dice on pitchers that were once pretty good, but either suck now, or were injured. Kelvim Escobar? Nope. Jason Schmidt? Don’t think so. Mark Mulder? No dice. Chris Carpenter? Eh we’ll see. Other pitchers have become scared they will fall into the Charmer’s injury pit, which we suppose is why Big Z locks himself in his room and “plays so much Guitar Hero”.

The addition of Francisco Liriano weeks before his re-arrival to the big leagues maybe the one bright spot thus far and is the only move that may ever pay dividends. It certainly hasn’t helped that former ace Justin Verlander has sucked balls this year.

While this team projects as a number four or five seed headed into the playoffs, they remain the best team on paper in MFMB, and I would not relish an opening round matchup with this squad. That being said, last time we checked “the best team on paper” has yet to win an MFMB championship.

Who’s Hot: former keeper Matt Holliday, good ol’ Joey No Pow Mau Mau, Bradley Hawpe
Who’s Not: Justin Verlander, Shaun Marcum, your MLB saves leader with a 6.0 ERA
Random Plate Ruling: Purce is Bald!

5. Jeters Pet Peavies
Preseason Rank: 10
Superlatives: Most likely to go back to making horrible trades next year; Most likely to wear grey V-neck to draft day ‘09

“…Don’t be surprised if the Peavies now stellar roster looks more like that of the Kansas City Royals by season’s end.”

“Though the Peavies clearly out-drafted the shit out of everyone in MFMB- don’t expect them to be competitive in 2008. How can they contend with so many Yankee position players? How will they win with no keeper level first round talent? Where is the offense? Kenji Johjima? This team couldn’t find Souvenir City with a compass and a map.”
-Steve Phillips BBTN Clubhouse April 2008

The Rodney Dangerfield of MFMB, it was clear from day one that Jeters Pet Peavies would get no respect. In dealing with all the media scrutiny, and the shame of a last place ranking in the leagues first ever Power Rankings, many expected this squad to fold under the enormous pressure of zero expectations.

Despite this seemingly insurmountable adversity, the Peavies have rallied around their charismatic GM PUR$E and have locked down a top ~~three~~ five spot and a coach-class ticket to the playoffs.

In just a few short months, the Peavies have gone from bottom-feeding league laughing stock - to league powerhouse laughing stock - a testament to team management and sheer determination of its players. Though haters and Peavies apologists like to point to this squad’s lack of ‘Rotisserie” production as a possible sign that its success is somehow due to luck, this is simply an irrelevant argument - as last this expert checked MFMB is not a Rotisserie league.

This team was hurt early by man crushes on Justin Upton and “The Future of Baseball” Jay Bruce. In spite of this, The Peavies have been largely successful by exploiting and perhaps abusing the unlimited moves that are so generously offered by the league. While studs Matt Kemp, Tim Lincecum, and Justin Morneau provide a rock-solid foundation - the periphery is in constant flux, as The Peavies live and die by league trends, Funston’s Big Board, and the Yahoo Sports front page.

The league has been anxiously awaiting the collapse of Jeters Pet Peavies, however this scrappy do-gooder, All-American team continues to defy the odds and win. Having adopted the clubhouse slogan “Yes we CANtu” (named after free agent third base pickup and team captain Jorge Cantu- who incidentally has been more productive than Garret Atkins), the Peavies have become synonomous with winning. Look for them to be a force in the playoffs. A force of hilarity.

Who’s Hot: Matt Kemp, Tim Lincecum, Dave Bush
Who’s Not: Jorge Cantu, Kyle Lohse, Max Scherzer
Random Plate Ruling: I give you permission to punch him until he falls asleep!

ON THE BUBBLE
6. Proseph’s Brosephs
Preseason Rank: 4
Superlatives: Most Likely to change his team name to “the cantankerous Homosephs”; Most Likely to drop a “very good” player; Least Likely to get along with Suckadapeepee

“…In order to be successful, the Brosephs must continue to stir the pot, causing trouble at any and every opportunity.”

In executing a deadline deal for Yankees infielder Robinson Cano, the Proseph’s sought to ride the hot hitting 2B to a title. Cano has had an immediate impact on this squad, as the Brosephs are already reaping the benefit of the second basemen’s .260 batting average, nonexistent speed, and lethargic play in the field. As a result, many fans have started humorously referring to this squad as “Canoseph’s Brosephs.”

The Brosephs should get some consistent production from their other newcomer, “the human metronome” Bobby Abreu, who’ll undoubtedly end the season at .300/20/100, and who should help offset the loss of stud catcher Brian McCann and second basemen Brian Roberts.

Hit hard by the dog days of summer, the Brosephs are no longer in a position where they would control their own destiny. With the growing possibility of missing the playoffs for the first time in their short history of LTD Fantasy Athletics, the Brosephs are dripping with desperation. It is these types of teams that are the most fun to watch- to see who they’ll add and who they drop just to survive. “It’s a dog eat dog world out there,” quipped one charismatic GM, “it will be a joy to watch whether those Homosephs self-destruct or persevere”.

With a huge win in Week Twenty, this squad needs to continue to focus on maximizing categories - while avoiding the temptation to scoreboard-watch. Needless to say, the Brosephs could have an exciting few weeks ahead of them.

Who’s Hot: Raul “Trade me already” Ibanez, Ty Wigginton, Ichy Roe
Who’s Not: Ryan “My Backy” Braun, Francisco Cordero, Chris “1 Ball” Snyder
Random plate ruling: Who wants a Mustache Ride?

7.Sukadapeepee
Preseason Rank: 7
Superlatives: Best Leather Jacket; Best Mustache; Most Likely to have a summer house in Westerly and not tell us; Most Likely to Succeed (by making others fail)

“…When confronted with the suspicious circumstances of his trade offer, Sukadadingdong had this fantastic response: “You know what, sukamydongdong… Pujols is usually a hot commodity, and I think his elbow has been blown out of proportion…make me another (reasonable) offer…you asses are known for your one sided trade offers..Douche Bags!” What a piece of work.”

Without a victory since this squad edged Jesse and the Stinkers in Week Fifteen, it is becoming increasingly clear that Sukadapeepee is limping his way into the playoffs. In fact, with The Brosephs surging, Dapeepee is in serious jeopardy of losing that coveted final playoff slot.

Though his highly publicized trade of Albert Pujols for Russell Martin, Ryan Howard, and Ryan Dempster was deemed “highway robbery” by one league exec, this move has yet to translate meaningfully into any categories. So, while Sukadapeepee continues to dominate the money categories, he struggles mightily with the periphery.

In order to make the playoffs, and succeed, this team will need to get hot in the last few weeks. With an offense as potent as any in MFMB and a respectable pitching staff to complement, this team could be a darkhorse, should they actually make the post season.

It is also worth noting that this team’s current rank is identical to its preseason rank - a testament to the quality and accuracy of the MFMB Power Rankings.

Who’s Hot: Manny “Hollywood Swingin’” Ramirez, Randy Winn, A-ROD
Who’s Not: Dan “U Ugly” Uggla, Michael “Not Getting’ Any” Young-er, Justin “Should have traded me when you had the Chance” Duchsherer
Random Plate Ruling: When Tom Selleck/Magnum, P.I.’s mustache prays at night, it prays to Jason Giambi’s Mustache!

There’s Always Next Year
8. Cock Knocker
Preseason Rank: 9
Superlatives: Best Smile; Most Addictive Laugh; Least Likely to be in Eastern Hemisphere next year

“…It is safe to say that Cock Knocker management has designated the ‘08 campaign as a rebuilding year, with hopes of competing for a lower seed playoff spot in ‘09.”

Between Week Seven and Week Sixteen, the Cock Knocker franchise experienced an epic nine week losing streak. This record breaking slide happened to coincide with a mysterious hiatus taken by Knocker principal owner Rocket Rigglesworth.

Speculation swirled as to Rigglesworth’s whereabouts, though none could be proven true. One source claimed that he was touring the country trying to make it as the Tea Leaf Green tambourine player. Another eyewitness claimed that he saw Rigglesworth check himself into a rehab facility to treat his highly publicized addiction to Skittles. Perhaps trying to capitalize on all the media attention, Scott Klass claimed that he was with Rigglesworth for his whole nine week hiatus, and that they spent the entire time in Klass’s room trying to beat Kontra from start to finish on original Nintendo - but that they couldn’t because the game kept freezing.

Eventually, word surfaced that Rocket had spent that time secretly touring with the US National Smile team and training for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. At the last minute, the IOC cancelled the event, believing that it too heavily favored the United States, as “Being from the world’s greatest country, the U.S. competitors are simply predisposed to happiness and smiling - and would therefore gain an unfair advantage over the rest of this depraved world.”

Returning to the Cock Knocker franchise exhausted, but still smiling, Rigglesworth encountered a team in shambles and without its leader. Likely too late for redemption, it is time for the Cock Knocker franchise to look to 2009.

Who’s Hot: Kevin “huge D” Youkilis, Big Teix, Billy “Big Bottom Girls” Butler
Who’s Not: Troy “You had to know this would happen sooner or later” Glaus, Scott Olsen
Random Plate Ruling: Best Band Ever: The New Deal!

9. Ballgame
Preseason Rank: 5
Superlatives: Most Likely to lead impromptu Jazz parade, drum circle, or other such celebration; Most Likely to name child “Geovany Soto”

“…If saves were the only category that we competed for, Ballgame would win hands down every week, but until the commissioner adjusts the settings, management should consider diversifying its roster.”

The Ballgame franchise has been in a perpetual state of rebuilding since draft day, when a non-functioning alarm clock all but ended this team’s season – and led to Ballgame amassing the most closers any bullpen has ever had.

With this early disadvantage, this franchise set its sights on landing the best keeper level talent for 2009 at all costs. Through a variety of trades, his squad was able to land the likes of Chase Utley, Albert Pujols, and Derek Lee. All they had to give up was Jose Reyes, Ian Kinsler, Carlos Lee, Russell Martin, Ryan Howard, Alfonso Soriano, Ryan Dempster and K Rod.

With the passing of the trade deadline, it is likely that Ballgame management has shifted its focus from baseball to pre-ranking running backs for the upcoming football season. Though this squad can play spoiler in the coming weeks, the 2008 season is all but over for Ballgame- and with their flashy new keepers, you can guarantee Ballgame will enjoy an Early Bird Special before the draft next year.

Who’s Hot: Jeff Samardzija
Who’s Not: Former Jalter staff-ace Aaron Harang (ouchies)
Random plate ruling: 2008 Chicago Cubs; Maybe…this year??

10. Jesse and the Rippers
Preseason Rank: 3
Superlatives: Least Likely to trade CC again, Least Likely to draft Brandon Phillips, Most Likely to never refer to ’08 season again

“…The Klassholes fell short of championship glory last year, but this has only made them hungrier in 2008. If this group they can play to their talent level, there will be no stopping their advance to MFMB championship glory.”

This 2008 Jesse and the Rippers team was the landslide victor in the “Most Underachieving Team of all Time”- a poll conducted by Sports Illustrated. A distant second place was the 2008 New York Yankees, followed by the 2007 Livin’ the Dream co-rec softball team.

Decimated by injuries and under-producing sluggers (I’m looking at you, first half versions of Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera), this team was doomed in the first month.

Despite the disaster that was the 2008 Jesse and the Rippers, team President, Scribs, maintains a positive outlook going forward. When pressed to discuss his reflections on the 2008 season, Scribs said:

“Reflections are for pussies…but if you must know, I won’t be changing a thing next year, and in fact, I hope I get the same team back…that and never bet against a really large pitcher, no matter how many innings they throw.”

Let’s see how that works out for him. Until then, it’s so long, Jesse and the Rippers, take a ride up the long, slow disco ball of Fantasy Death. Take a short ride off the roof on your motorcycle that is your fantasy squad. In short, Cut it out!

Who’s Hot: Miguel “Fucking Finally” Cabrera, The Marcockis, Alfonso “One Time I Helped you win a week” Soriano
Who’s Not: Fausto “Not-so Good” Carmona, Prince “T-Bone” Fielder, Delmon “The D-Bag” Young
Random Plate Ruling: Scribs <3’s Da Pee Pee!

Following a prolonged silence that coincided with John Danks release from his squad, league commissioner The Great Jaltair issued the following statement:

Blammy Blam Home Runs Chicks Dig the Long Ball I’m Gonna Smash Win Redheads

Best of luck in the playoffs, men. For those who will be making a butt-imprint on the couch in October, there is always next year. Until then, boobs, beers, and much blammy to all.

Flobots - Same Thing

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:06:20 -0400

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Coldplay - Death And All His Friends

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 03:03:39 -0400

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Coldplay - Strawberry Swing

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 03:03:39 -0400

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Radiohead - Nude

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 17:13:23 -0400

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Radiohead - Bodysnatchers

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 17:13:23 -0400

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Radiohead - 15 Step

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Coldplay - Life In Technicolor

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:07:44 -0400

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Gnarls Barkley - Going On

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:07:44 -0400

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Gnarls Barkley - Who's Gonna Save My Soul

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:07:44 -0400

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Gnarls Barkley - Charity Case

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:07:44 -0400

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George Harrison - If Not For You

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 21:06:22 -0400

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Joe Strummer And The Mescaleros - Johnny Appleseed

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:55:15 -0400

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George Harrison - Run Of The Mill

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Guest Column: Suckada Knows Best!!

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:43:00 -0400

Well here we are gents, nearly halfway though our season, and what a ride it has been so far. We have good ole’ Jeter’s Pet Peavies’ coming off a last place finish to hold on to first place for a few weeks before coming back down to life. With disappointing starts to both Jalter Hernandez and Coach Sojos Charmers they have a lot of making up to do. However, with the weather warming up a bit they appear to start hitting their stride. I won’t even go into the dreadful starts of the door-mats of MFMB, as I will have plenty to stay about them later on.

But I digress. This is not a summary of how the year has gone so far. It is a critical view of how each of you mind-numbing idiots put your fantasy baseball teams together. So how do you build a winning championship caliber squad? Wouldn’t you morons love to know. Not to worry, Suckada is here to help. In this inaugural segment of “Sukada Knows Best” I will dissect each team in how they were put together and in some cases taken apart and put back together again and of course rip a few teams a new one. I will discuss what you did right, wrong, and what I just plain don’t like. Choice of “keepers, drafting, maintenance, and handling adversity, whether it be due to injury or ineffectiveness, are just a few of the topics I will cover for each team. As Frank Costanza famously said, “I got a lot of problems with you people; and now you’re gonna hear about ‘em.”

Ballgame:

For a perfect rant why don’t we start with our big winner so far this year, and yeah that’s probably me being a little facetious, Mr. Teddy Ballgame. Way to start off the season on the wrong foot asshole. Not showing up for the draft either live or online is an outstanding way to end up with the worst concocted team EVER in the history of fantasy baseball. Jeez does your team just suck donkey dick! Actually that is probably a little harsh, but what the fuck do I care.

Since you were not present for the draft I suppose I can’t rip you apart on your drafting ability, but trust me I will find other things. As far as keepers go it was pretty much a no brainer for you which in turn you were able to trade two of them for pitching and power which after your “draft” was sorely lacking. With that blockbuster deal that landed stud second baseman Chase Utley and Miguel “Probably hit his high point in early May” Tejada, Ballgame has the strength working up the middle which is very crucial to a winning team. Add in Torri Hunter and that crazy canuck Russell Martin, and the team may have the components to be a winner in the future.

Unfortunately for you my friend, by future I mean not this year. Not that I am one to brag about dominant pitching staffs, but can someone tell me where the ace is in this staff. This team which had such promise with its dominant offensive presence has become just average as Ballgame has been forced to trade for hopeful pitching help. Oswalt stinks, Harang has not backed up his career year from last year, and Myers has not transitioned well from the bullpen (maybe it’s time to go back). Hudson has been the most consistent pitcher by far and along with Ryan “Cum” Dumpster they will have to carry this staff through the consolation rounds of the playoffs. None of these pitchers mentioned were drafted by this team and the outstanding offense that was drafted had to be sacrificed for an incredibly mediocre (at best) pitching staff.

Jesse and the Rippers:

As we make our way out of the cellar we find ourselves the basement dweller of 2008. After a solid showing in 2007, “The Rippers” have been unable to get themselves out of the last two places in the league. This is a team that has been raped by underperforming players especially from two of his big time keepers.

The baseball player formerly known as “Prince” looks nothing like the elder Fielder so far this year. While he does have 10 HR’s (had 20 this time last year) only driving in 30 runs and hitting just 12 doubles this is not exactly what you would expect from a keeper. Miguel Cabrera, enough said, as he and the rest of the Latin American Tigers have struggled terribly offensively. These two are working together in aiding the Rippers to the bottom of the pack. As you look up and down this roster it’s difficult to spot players that were originally drafted by this team. New arrivals Soriano, Atkins, Soto, and big time steal Cory Hart have helped rejuvenate this offense. It’s hard to rip on this team too much because you look at it and at a glance it seems like this could be a playoff contending team, however, which much drama in the clubhouse including collusion charges against the club for hoarding multiple third basemen it is difficult to say which direction this team is going.

Another charge has also been brought up by an anonymous GM that there is an unknown secret that Chris Young likes balls on his face. (Rumor has it that this started as a member of the Sukada Squad…surprise…surprise). The Rippers “somehow” discovered this information and quickly traded him to Jalter. Just hours later Young had taken one of the toughest balls on the chin ever and it landed him on the DL. The big Question surrounding this circumstance is whether or not this information was leaked to the sukadapeepee squad and since Albert Pujols was facing him that particular night he knew that if Young saw any balls coming at his face he would never try stop them, thus resulting in a base hit.

This team surrounded by just struggle and drama can go one of two ways from here. Either sink deeper into the depths of the bottom of the league or use this controversy as fuel to inspire this team to an improbable run to the playoffs. Only time will tell. As far as the team itself goes pitching depth is a serious issue here. After Saunders and Felix it is a big time drop off. Almost as big as Pro’s ego, which we will get into later. This team might consider trading one of them for multiple arms to balance out the rotation. For the most part this team has been a healthy one, in the physical sense at least. Carmona going down does not help, but the Rippers have managed to stay of the field for the most part. However, while doing so they have been less productive then Jalter is the day after a long night of drinking and of course subsequently vomiting all over the bathroom.

Cocknocker:

Next on the chopping block is the cum guzzler who had to come up with another sexual organ reference for his team name. One per league is more than enough…fuckin’ douchebag. After a disappointing ‘07 season finishing in 9th this team is right back in the thick of things vying for top spot of the consolation playoff. It is quite apparent that the review of this team is not going in a very positive direction, and it’s not getting better.

What moron in their right mind would EVER keep two pitchers and marginal ones at that. Sure Verlander has won a lot of games the past 2 season and C.C. is in his contract year, but god damn how are those guys keepers? They both averaged 5th round or later in most fantasy leagues with at least 10 teams. So you screwed the proverbial pooch right from the get go. But hey, if that isn’t enough this guy manages to package Verlander and Helton for Hawpe and Lilly…how is that one working out for ya?

However, in another shocking move once again involving one of his bonehead keepers this two sandwiches short of a picnic GM gets back two quality players in Kemp and Marcum for Sabathia. Now while using his head for once “C” Sucker managed to trade his overvalued pitcher for undervalued players. This was an outstanding move, but don’t get used to the complements because in an all-time bonehead move you manage to drop Kemp a week later and pick up Mike Jacobs. I don’t even have words to describe this. In fact head hurts just thinking about it so I’m going to leave it alone. And just for the record, Hawpe (acquired in the earlier trade) was also dropped subsequently as this wonderful mess managed to trade 2 of his “keepers”, and boy do I use that term loosely, for Shawn Marcum (undrafted) and Ted Lilly (18th round). Again that pain is starting to come back in my skull. I wish I could go on about this team, but at this point I just don’t have the strength. There are more “one hit wonders” on this team then there were in the entire 80’s decade. At least you dropped half of the team you drafted to pick up more mediocre guys having outstanding starts in ‘08 to keep you afloat for the first third of our season, don’t count on it lasting very long however.

I see this team as the future doormat of this league for weeks to come, this is unless Ryan Ludwick hits 45 HRS and Roy Halladay pitches a complete game shutout every start. Then it will be second worst back to back years for you, my cock loving friend. If there is a future for you and this “so called” fantasy team, although I don’t know what sick and twisted individual would fantasize about owning this club, it belongs at the business end of a shotgun and a man with an uncontrollable finger tick holding the trigger.

Prosephs Brosephs:

Yes that’s right dingleberry I will be referring to you by your original team name this year and not the faggy rip-off you stole from Purcey…Furthermore it doesn’t make any sense you tool. Now that I got that off my chest on to this underachieving pile of crap Pro calls a fantasy baseball team.

Braun, Rollins, and Ichiro are a solid group of keepers at a point in time where excellent corner outfielders are tough to come by and shortstops are even tougher. Prosephs have relied mostly on waiver wire pickups here and there and a trade landing a pair of top of the rotation southpaws both of whom have not pitched that way since joining the team. Talk on the street is that both pitchers have felt very pressured to perform due to Pro’s win-at-all cost attitude and may be trying to be too perfect. This is one of the few teams in the league that look very much like the team drafted on opening day which has its positives and negatives. Showing concern for the lack of power supply the addition of always controversial bad boy Milton Bradley has provided some pop to an otherwise anemic lineup.

One might wonder why this section is not longer like the rest of my little rants, but I have to be honest a say that if I talk about this flaming homo any longer I will probably have to rip both eyeballs out and juggle them to cure the boredom.

Sukadapeepee:

I mean seriously who the fuck in their right mind has the ability to draft a pitcher who may never throw again, an outfielder who coming off shoulder surgery was ineffective when he played and is now probably done for the year or maybe his career, three relievers who go on the shelf in the first 3 weeks, and another late rounder who was a little bit a gamble but hit to the tune of around .200 with no, and I do mean NO power. Yes I am talking about Andruw (where did my talent go?) Jones.

On top of this outstanding drafting ability my second to none baseball senses told me that Travis Hafner was going to have a huge comeback year after a quazi down year in 2007. Boy did I ever screw the preverbal pooch. Guess it should have been Canada’s own Justin Morneau to stay with the peepee squad…WHO KNEW? Hafner has been about as productive as Pucey in getting out the power rankings on time, however, the timing of his possible season ending injury couldn’t have been more perfect. As new addition Jason Giambi has joined this team, gold thong and all, to provide a much needed spark both on and off the field.

How about we do some more draft analysis, shall we? I admit, I’ve made a few mistakes here and there, but surely most of my picks have been excellent and amazing, as I lead people to believe, right? I mean that was me, insulting nearly every pick made during the ‘08 draft, and praising my own as “excellent sleepers”? Let’s take a look a liiiiittle closer:

2007
Ryan Freel, 10th Round
next pick: CC Sabathia,
Nick Swisher, 12th Round
seven picks later, Prince Fielder
19th and on
Ryan Sheely
Austin Kearns
John Patterson
2008
Travis Hafner, Keeper
Gary Sheffield, 7th Round
next two picks, Roy Holladay, Corey Hart
Kelvim Escobar, 10th Round
also picked in the 10th, Ian Kinsler, Ben Sheets, Jason Bay
Placido Polanco, 11th Round
two picks later, John Maine
Andruw Jones, 13th Round
next two picks, Trevor Hoffman, Adam Wainwright
JJ Hardy, 18th Round
that round, Yuniel Escobar, Evan Longoria, Brian Fuentes

Final 2007 record: 131-167-54, 53 games back
(*all research done by Lucky Louey Research Labs)

Ouch, Ryan Freel. That pick caused a rival GM to remark, “haha ryan freel in the 10th round. what a douche.” But I’m not worried! So I’ve made a few mistakes in the past, what of it. This year, I’ve been sure to only employ the best of the best. After all, I am Suckadapeepee. Well, except for the times when I had

Aaron Hill
Pat Neshek
Chad Bradford
Guillerma Mota
Eric Gagne
Gary Sheffield
Adam Loewen
Hiroki Kuroda
Dontrelle Willis
Gabe Kapler

Yeah, except for then.

But enough about me, let’s talk more about me! So here was my situation after the first few weeks. I’ve got a power hitter with an elbow that’s barely hanging on, meanwhile I’m crushing everyone in the power categories but I’ve only got one freekin pitcher, or so some like to believe. So what do I do about this issue? Trade said risky player for a couple of decent pitchers, hence balancing my team and giving me a legitimate chance to win? Hell no, I requested entire line-ups, two of each team’s best starters, along with a goat and the queens dowry just to have trade talks with me. Sometimes I have my head rammed so far up my fantasy ass I don’t know what is up or down (sometimes makes it hard to wipe).

This team will continue to have an excellent chance to compete in this league as long as Giambi continues his miraculous comeback, Grady stops sucking the pee pee, and Rick Ankiel goes back to pitching so I don’t have to rely on Johnny (not so fast, Cy Young) Cueto and Justin Dusheaterer….well you get the idea.

Jalter Hernandez:

Now we come to our reigning champion from 2007. Between the outstanding trifecta of Utley, Santana, and Ortiz, and a very solid showing on draft day on paper it looked like this team had it all. Starting pitching, relievers, hitting and power (and lots of it). This team was poised to dominate from the start and roll all the way through the season. Then the season actually started.

Two and a half months later not only does this team have a very different look, it may be in a little disarray. Three players on the DL for an extended period of time and another 2 starting pitchers who have more innings pitched in the minors then actual days on the big league roster, not exactly the key to winning championships. Of course this cannot be fully blamed on the Son of Smom, but let’s do it anyway.

How about we draft 2 pitchers with injury problems and a third that has not been very consistent at the big league level. Pedro and Liriano were two pretty large gambles that have yet to pan out and Rich Hill…well it’s too bad Triple-A stats don’t count…well those actually suck too. Now despite all of the tragedy that has ripped though this team, Jalter has kept this crew in contention for a playoff spot and just may be starting to hit their stride. The early season trade that brought in the at times offensive spark plug (at others more like a butt plug) Jose Reyes and perennial RBI monster Carlos Lee could be the key to a much needed turnaround.

Coach Sojos Charmers:

This club is the home of some of the greatest hitters of our time and in more ways than one. Guys like Ramirez, Holliday, Wright, Hamilton, D. Lee and Joe Mauer make this a team with many offensive weapons covering every category from runs and RBI’s to HRs and steals. This enviable offense seemed to have a nice complementary pitching staff after draft day. Unfortunately with the exception of Zambrano and Hudson, most of those pitchers have been ineffective this year and have made their way to other teams. Unfortunately those who have replaced the departed have not fared much better.

Hudson was packaged with the over the hill Roy Oswalt for two stud closers in Nathan and Jenks (who along with FA pickup Matt Kemp landed Matt Cain and Dan Haren) all of whom have helped round out this pitching staff. Good call by the GM and Coach Louey, who came to realize that drafted closers Joe Borowski and Chad Cordero just weren’t going to cut it in this league. The sad truth of the matter is it didn’t have to be this way. This team in a 1 week time span added and dropped Ervin Santana, Gavin Floyd, and John Danks, all of whom are pitching very well and would now clearly be a welcome addition to the Charmers. It makes you wonder what this guy was smoking during that week. If you ask me it was probably about 6 inches long and attached to Jalter’s groin, buy hey that’s just what I hear.

Unfortunately for the other teams in the MFMB Fantasy Baseball League, this club has been on the winning end of some bonehead trades, several of which I discussed earlier. This club has consistently taken advantage of the weaker minds and teams in the league. The addition of Dan Haren does give this team more starting pitching depth, however, after that it becomes quite the large question mark as a quartet of 4+ ERA SP’s McGowan, Cain, Verlander, and Burnett (who Coach has openly despised since he became a Charmer) attempt to right the ship of this one-time powerhouse.

Jeter’s Pet Peavies:

The feel good story of the early part of the 2008 season had to be the Peavies. Fortified by a stable of outstanding starting pitching, this club was able to come out of the gates on fire. Many had questioned the Peavies clear power shortage, and wondered why GM Purcey did nothing to address it. Well those early days probably seem like a distant memory now. With the lack of offensive support taking its toll, this team has lost 4 of the last 6 weeks, badly.

This is a much better percentage than the teams GM, who is a loser pretty much every day of his life. Realizing that the offense that was drafted would not hold up for the full season, the Peavies made up for it with an inexplicable amount of moves, seeing we have yet to play half the season. This club has averaged over 5 moves per week, making many teams wonder how a team can play together with so many of the pieces moving around. Clearly one has to question the patience of the GM with many of these players spending only 1 day with the team. The list of 1 dayers or as I like to call them “Purcey’s Personal Prostitutes” is quite staggering and impressive. It includes, but is not limited to Jeremy Guthrie, Carlos Gomez, all 3 Molina’s (although Bengie did make it a staggering full week), Stephen Drew, Brandon Morrow, Jonathan Sanchez, Dan Giese, Kenny Rogers, Greg Smith, Luke Hochevar, Dana Eveland, Jered Weaver, Tim Wakefield and of course Darrell Rasner 4 times(which should probably be considered rape at this point). You have to wonder, is it really impatience or incompetence?

While many of these moves have been done with pitchers, it has led some to believe that the moves are just to jack up his wins and K’s each week. While this may keep him in contention it has also caught the attention of numerous GM’s around the league. One anonymous Executive within the league has already made a statement regarding the excessive movement. “I really hope it comes back to bit him in the ass. It is a bush-league move and does not belong in the game. I really hope the commissioner steps in and does something about it before it gets out of hand.” In my opinion it is not as big a deal but watching our commissioner and Purcey go at it in Louey’s apartment for another 2 hours would not be such a bad thing. Man did that sound gay.

Gillerman & Co.:

So what do you do when two of your 3 keepers are what you would call pretty worthless? How about drafting the most quality 22nd round player possibly ever. No one in this league has gotten less out of their keepers then this club yet the success cannot be questioned. This is partly in due to the outstanding steal of Nate McLouth in the 22nd round of the 2008 Fantasy Draft this year. Other notable steals include Brian Wilson (19 saves) in the 19th round and Evan Longoria in the 18th round. Along with an outstanding power offense being aided by the 8 players in his lineup with 10+ HR’s and 5 players with 43+ RBI, this team has clubbed its way to the top of the division.

The early season acquisition of a much needed second baseman in B. Phillips after realizing that 11th round draft pick Rickie Weeks could barely cut it on my 18+ softball team turned out to be a turning point for this club. What else can I say about this team other than this no talent GM Gillerfag is really beginning to piss me off. I mean this is a good team but no one that should roll off 4 blowouts in a row and 5 wins in their last 6 weeks. I suppose all we can hope for is that this retard can keep 3 more guys next year that all suck and hope for the best because this year this team will do some serious damage.

Fantasy’s Finest:

Talk about the largest group of overachievers. Nothing pisses me off more than when every single pitcher or pick up becomes an instant Cy Young candidate. After draft day this pitching staff left much to be desired. Hamels and Lackey (DL for first month and a half) were the only guys worth drafting. Who the fuck is Ubaldo Jiménez? Jeff Francis…well that’s one more Rockie with an ERA higher then Cheech Marin on a Saturday night… for that matter, any night. So then comes the series of pickups which made this team the piece of crap we love to hate.

The additons of Edison Volquez, Cliff Lee, and Ervin Santana with ERA’s of 1.64, 2.55, and 3.40 respectively this year have revamped a once putrid staff. Last year their ERA’s were 4.50, 6.29 and 5.76 and they combined for 14 wins total. This year they already have 27 wins between the three of them. Seriously how did this bumblefuck of a pitching staff go from the worst staff concocted ever in fantasy baseball into owning the top two candidates for both the AL and NL Cy Young. This just makes me want to hit something; I guess it’s a good thing I get to see Pro soon to use him as my personal punching bag.

It’s hard to judge a team on how well it was drafted when it looks nothing like the team that was drafted. Uggla (Thank you by the way), Konerko, Ibanez, Tulowitzki, Corpas, Burnett, All drafted between rounds 5 and 13 and only 1 is still on the Finest and sitting pretty on the DL after a terrible sophomore performance early on. So I suppose we can shit on this team all we want to for the lack of drafting ability, but no has a better eye for free agent talent and 15 year old boys than Jimbo. Only time will tell us whether this bunch of former losers can continue their big starts to the ‘08 season.

Wellll I guess that about wraps things up on my end. I hope you learned a lot, I know I did. So I’m sure you will all be really excited for the next installment of “Suckada Knows Best”, also known as “a curse-filled rampage against every member of the league, during which Suckada makes many friends and shows off his infinite wisdom and grammatical abilities”. Come on back ya’ll!

- da Pee Pee

MFMB Week 12 Power Rankings

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:57:00 -0400

Your collective cries have been heard and the mandate has been issued:

“No longer will we be ignorant to league trends! No longer will we feel unapprised of where we rank in MFMB! We must know Who’s Hot! We must know Who’s Not! We will be kept in the dark no longer! We Demand Power Rankings!”

Without further ado, The Power Rankings are back!!

Since the last edition of The Power Rankings, Mr. Faggy Mugoodoo’s Fantasy Baseball League has continued to grow in both quality and maturity. But three clear groups have emerged. Three teams have emerged as legitimate powerhouses, three are on the doorstep, and three…well they have some serious work ahead of them. In this week’s edition of The Power Rankings, we examine these divisions and attempt to answer one of the most important questions of our time…Who the fuck is Mr. Faggy Mugoodoo?

The Contenders

These are truly the best of the best. While nothing is guaranteed in today’s league, the squads represented in this group have the best shot at obtaining the ultimate prize – a picture of Jay at his bar mitzvah. Oh that and the league trophy.

1. Fantasy’s Finest

Previous Rank: 1

With seven straight victories and a virtual chokehold on first place, the placement of Fantasy’s Finest atop this Week’s Power Rankings should come as a no brainer- much like adding Geovony So-to when he inexplicably lands on the waiver wire.

Within league circles, The Finest have been affectionately referred to as “The Spurs of MFMB,” and in a recent Fantasy Quarterly poll, this team was voted by the fans as being the most “boring team in the league.” While Finest lacks major star power, this roster is littered with cagey veterans who can do the little things to win each week. With Adrian Gonzales driving in the runs, Larry Wayne Jones Jr. balancing out the batting average, and Cole Hamels notching the mythical CG/SHOs, this team just keeps rolling.

While homeruns and strikeouts are the unofficial ‘money categories’ in fantasy baseball, Jimbo is a fantasy traditionalist to the core - and has popularized the oft-forgotten dogma that “all categories are worth the same.” Without sacrificing the supposed ‘money categories,’ Jimbo has focused on ensuring that he will win the less glamorous and often overlooked categories like WHIP and holds.

To complement one of the league’s most effective pitching staffs to date, a subtle key to Finest’ early success has been the tandem of Carlos Marmol and Kyle McClellan. These two middle relief powerhouses have all but guaranteed the holds category each week - and Jimbo didn’t need to sell the farm or burn a 13^th round pick for their services.

A great philosopher once said: “the key to a fantasy championship is balance and consistency.” Few teams in the short history of the league better embody this doctrine than the 2008 Fantasy’s Finest.

Who’s Hot: Ryan Doumit, Cole Hamels, J.D. Drew

Who’s Not: Ervin Santana, Joe Borowski, Ryan Theriot

2. Gillerman & co

Previous Rank: 7

While matched up with league rival the artist formerly known as Proseph’s Brosephs in Week Eight, G&co owner and league curmudgeon (An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions) Johnny Drama initiated one of the most perverse, inane, and entertaining smack talk beatdowns of all time. The chatter eventually spilled over onto the message boards, and ended with G&co summarily demolishing the Brosephs 13-2. Since this victory, G&co has won two out of three and cemented itself firmly in the league’s second place position.

This success has been entirely due to the solid play of the team’s stars. Though all that beer and donuts seem to have slowed Lance “Fat Elvis” Berkman from his torrid pace, he continues to be effective and the ladies at G&co park still go crazy when Lance does the shimmy. And in spite of predictions, Berkman has yet to resemble Phil Niekro’s grandson.

Despite the gaudy record, injuries to G&co catcher Victor Martinez and shortstop Rafael Furcal have forced Johnny Drama’s hand, and these two studs have been replaced with the wholly inadequate Dionnar Navarro and Maicer Izturis. The future of G&co may rest on Drama’s ability to respond to these glaring voids in his lineup - and perhaps a major move should be considered to restore some semblance of talent to these positions.

Defying logic, the team that drafted Heath Bell in the thirteenth round continues to win and win big. If G&co can address their injury crisis and overcome the dubious distinction of having “the most pitchers whose first names are initials,” there could be no stopping their meteoric rise to the top.

Who’s Hot: Jose Guillen, Berkman, Scott Kazmir

Who’s Not: Brandon Webb (wha happened?), Brandon (mendoza line) Phillips, Adam Dunn

3. Jeters Pet Peavies

Previous Rank: 2

“There is a future for baseball, and his name is Jay Bruce.”

-a credible baseball authority

In the aforementioned poll conducted by Fantasy Quarterly, MFMB fans voted the Peavies as having “the most exciting young talent in MFMB,” and subsequently “the most promising farm system” by the Fantasy Baseball Writers Association of America. A big reason for this has been the seamless infusion of centerfielder Jay Bruce. After tearing up the minor leagues for weeks, Bruce made an immediate impact for the Peavies and was singlehandedly responsible for the Peavies’ dismantling Coach Sojos Charmers in Week Nine- much to the ire of Coach Louey- and to the delight of Peavies fans worldwide.

Bruce, Tim Lincecum, and Matt Kemp headline a team that is simply loaded with young talent, and has been complemented well by the statistical leadership of veterans Justin Morneau and the red hot Johnny Damon - who subsequently owns the league’s best broken bat to hit ratio. But this golden road has not been without bumps, as the once deemed untouchable Justin Upton is in the middle of an epic slide – one that has brought his owner to the realization that JUpton was born in 1987.

Despite the stockpile of talent, the Peavies have been floundering of late and some have attributed the decline to the incredibly long persisting issues at third base and catcher. While former renegade Jorge Cantu has sort-of solved the third base issue for the time being, a weakness at the catcher slot remains glaring. Perhaps the Peavies can look forward to one day receiving the services of the recently added, former keeper Victor Martinez, perhaps just in time for the playoffs.

With the return of team namesake Jake Peavy to the rotation and with a proven mastery of the lost art of spot starting, the Pet Peavies should continue to ride their strong pitching. When asked how he manages the revolving door known as the Peavies bullpen, team GM Dan Isaacs stated, “when I figure out what the hell Purce is doing with Darrell Rasner tomorrow, I’ll let you know.” Then he winked and continued skipping down the street.

Going forward, the hopes and dreams of JPP Universe will rest on the capable shoulders of their homegrown, All-America rookie - Jay Bruce. One can only hope he doesn’t choke.

Who’s Hot: Johnny Damon, Justin Morneau, Tim Lincecum

Who’s Not: Tom Gordon, Derek Jeter, Justin Upton

The Pretenders

This group is constantly in flux, as they are battling their way into the top group, yet fighting like hell to stay out of the smelly basement. Some of these teams seem a key move or two away from a dangerous playoff run. Others, it seems like their quick start has finally caught up with them.

4. Coach Sojos Charmers

Previous Rank: 4

Beset by mediocrity for much of 2008, the Charmers have all but proven that a high payroll and a star studded roster do not translate to fantasy glory. As a sign of his frustration, Coach Louey has now identified at least three separate instances as the official “lowpoint” of the Charmers season - but perhaps none more painful than Week Nine, when Jay Bruce played all nine positions for the Peavies and singlehandedly beat the entire Charmers team.

Despite their hot and cold play, the on-paper prowess and balance of this roster is still scary. When healthy, the Charmers have the highest all-around upside of any team in MFMB, and a realistic potential to dominate. The under-the-radar addition of Brad Hawpe has bolstered an already powerful offense headlined by RBI machine Josh Hamilton. With the exception of the conspicuously out of place Casey Kotchman and career underachiever Howie Kendrick, the Charmers have few offensive weaknesses.

The one knock on the Charmers has been starting pitching. However, strong weeks by Dustin McGowan, Matt Cain, and more importantly the resurgence of Justin Verlander, have given this pitching staff some confidence moving forward. Look for this team to build upon its narrow Week Eleven victory over the Brosephs.

Who’s Hot: Derek Lee, Matt Cain, Dustin McGowan

Who’s Not: David Wright, Hanley Ramirez, Howie Kendrick

5. Jalter Hernandez

Previous Rank: 8

Plagued by a slow start, the defending league champions have brought themselves back into playoff contention, and are slowly working their way up the leader board. Never short on confidence, principal owner The Great Jaltair issued this statement coming into their Week Eleven matchup with the actual league leader - Fantasy’s Finest: “The Jalter Hernandez’s are projecting an ascent up the MFMB standings.” The Hernandez’s were promptly defeated 10-4.

By no coincidence, the resurgence of JAlter Hernandez coincided with the arrival of Ian Kinsler and Jose Reyes, who have been vital to this team’s offensive consistency. The key for this squad going forward will be these two young stars, along with Vladimir Guerrero. Jalter Hernandez will need this hobbling lumberjack to produce, especially with big bopper David “Uncle Sam” Ortiz out for the not-so-immediate future.

Team frontman Keith Hernandez’s role as Commissioner has come under fire recently because of the way he’s handled the many complaints against Rippers manager Slippery Scribbies. In order to assess an appropriate punishment, Hernandez had consulted none other than league-wannabe Scott Klass and his self-proclaimed “connections” at Yahoo. The last we’ve heard, Klass was still on the phone with Yahoo, but some have suggested that he likely forgot to call.

If Jalter Hernandez can find the passion and ruthlessness that won them the 2007 championship in Don’t Pee on Your New Computer, you can look out for the following in the near future:

80 Million Blammies
At least 4 “very good” second-half stars
At least one “brilliant” free agent find who hasn’t been touted repeatedly by the fantasy “experts”

Who’s Hot: Bengie Molina, Jose Reyes, Jason Bay (he has earned it)

Who’s Not: Johan Santana, B.J. Ryan, Carlos Quentin

6. Sukadapeepee

Previous Rank: 6

After watching Sukada continually not run out fly balls at the MFMB Executive Softball game several weeks ago, one league owner suggested that perhaps the front office’s attitudes on ‘hustle’ were seeping into the clubhouse - as this rarely proud franchise has been in a steady decline for the last few weeks. Cock Knocker owner Rocket Rigglesworth offered his injured star Eric Byrnes to host a three day seminar on “The Efficacy of Hustle.” Not surprisingly, Sukadapeepee declined the invitation, commenting, “Screw hustle, you jackasses. By the way, how’s my mustache?” he then stripped down party boy style and assaulted the clubhouse reporter.

Sukadapeepee has had more than a few off the field distractions recently as rumors have abounded that team frontman Sukadadingdong has taken the advice of his mustachioed first basemen and begun to wear gold lamé thongs to motivate his struggling squad. These rumors were substantiated when incriminating photos were tracked down on Facebook - posted under the alias “Michael Tobin.”

News of Sukada’s thong wearing escapades have not managed to overshadow the injury to star Albert Pujols, who finally hit the DL. While a possibility from day one, an extended DL stint for Pujols could be devastating to this team, and helps to account for their lower rank. Could Suckada now be playing his own blame game, regretting asking for entire team’s pitching staffs just to talk about a trade for Pujols?

Sukadapeepee will need Albert to bounce back quickly to remain competitive. If he struggles at all in his return to the field, this team might as well have one foot in the grave.

Who’s Hot: A-Rod, Dan Wheeler, Jason Giambi

Who’s Not: Dan Uggla, Michael Young, Brad Penny

7. Proseph’s Brosephs/ Brauns Pet Bradleys

Previous Rank: 3

When asked how it felt to lose in Week Eight to Gillerman & co in the face of so much smack talk, Broseph’s manager Mikey Amateur said:

“Losing to Gillerfag & co is like losing to JAlter in beer pong. When JAlter yells ‘SPLASH DOWN!’ before each shot, you don’t worry because you know he is probably going to miss terribly…but sometimes he does hit it, and when he does it really really stings.”

Baseball Tonight’s Peter Gammons and John Kruk had an extended chat on the Brosephs during last night’s Baseball Tonight Clubhouse. Kruk stated, “when Jalter hits those beer pong shots, it’s like the Jack Cust effect – they are either in, or man oh man are they off. Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn half the time.” Gammons remarked that the Week Eight shellacking was “the impetus for the Broseph’s precipitous decline.” The Broseph spirit is all but broken, thanks to recent and unnecessary name changes. Team morale is at an all time low, as evidenced by new team star Milton Bradley openly weeping in the Broseph clubhouse. This sorry squad has rattled off four straight losses and has dropped four spots in The Power Rankings.

Adding injury to insult, an extended DL stint for ace Chien Ming Wang came as devastating news this week. At least one person once suggested that when healthy, Wang possessed more fantasy value than Carlos “El Caballo” Lee.

These are dark days in Broseph Nation, and this team desperately needs a big win in Week Twelve to appease a frustrated fan base, and restore hope for the playoffs.

Who’s Hot: Andy Pettitte, Randy Wolf, James Loney

Who’s Not: Milton Bradley, Hunter Pence, Eric Bedard

Smom’s Basement

There are dark days, and there are dark days. Some of these teams haven’t seen the light since week one. Some of this can be attributed to injury, poor trades, and disfunctioning alarm clocks. Whatever the cause, there is a long road for many of these teams to get out of the Basement.

8. Jesse & the Rippers

Previous Rank: 9

No team has been the subject of more off-the-field controversy in the last few weeks than the Rippers, as the league office has received at least three complaints in regards to unethical dealings by this team.

The first complaint was issued after this team traded the all but retired John Smoltz for ace Chris Young, while knowing full well that retired players have no fantasy value. Despite receiving an informal warning, the Rippers later tried to trade Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan for Matt Holliday, but the trade was promptly vetoed by the commissioner’s office.

The Rippers created further controversy when they shrewdly dealt the same Chris Young for Corey Hart on the same night that Young would be blasted in the face with a line drive - thus enraging the disabled player’s recipient and league commissioner - Keith Hernandez. The Rippers divisive manager Scribbies is facing an untimely investigation for possible collusion charges stemming from the accusation that he was artificially manipulating the third base market by stockpiling three baggers.

Despite this distraction and yet another DL stint for Alfonso Soriano, this team has scratched and clawed to keep its head above water. But there may be some signs this dormant monster is waking up. Strong play from Carlos Guillen and Nick Markakis has give the Ripper’s fans glimpses of the good ol’ days. Prince Fielder has found his power stroke at long last, and can be found rumblin’ and stumblin’ around Miller park.

In order to get back into the playoff hunt, the Rippers need to do more than survive, they need to dominate. With two straight victories and Miguel Cabrera heating up, an extended run is not out of reach for the Rippers. The next few weeks will be telling, as the Ripper’s face some of the league’s top teams.

Who’s Hot: Miguel Cabrera, Felix Hernandez, Rich Harden

Who’s Not: Randy Johnson, Corey Hart, Todd “Extra Base Hit-less” Helton

9. Cock Knocker

Previous Ranking: 5

Speaking of precipitous declines, it’s hard to believe that the Cock Knocker franchise was once ranked as high as second in a column as steeped in quality and legitimacy as The MFMB Power Rankings.

Despite their downfall, attendance at Cock Knocker Stadium remains the best in the league, even despite being based in the small market of Wyoming. Some have attributed this popularity to team owner and fantasy baseball icon Rocket Rigglesworth. Each home game Rocky sits in his private box, munching on Cracker Jacks and Harvey Bars, while sipping from growlers of “Cock Knockin’ Good” lager. During the seventh inning stretch, Rigglesworth delivers the most fantastic drunken rendition of “Take me out to the Ballgame,” that has ever heard, and is often asleep in his lazy-boy recliner by the eighth inning.

Beside their charismatic owner, Knocker fans have had very little to cheer about as they have not won since they beat the Brosephs in Week Six. While a pitching staff that is headlined by Doc Halladay and features 2008 breakouts Shaun Marcum and Todd Wellemeyer remains formidable, it is hardly enough to make up for an Mike Piazza like impotent offense that ranks last in MFMB in batting average and makes opposing pitchers giggle.

Several weeks ago, Rigglesworth acknowledged a desperate need to improve on his anemic offense. Despite Coach Louey’s brilliant column on trading, a move has yet to be made and the Knockers have continued their slide. In order to rebound from a disappointing first half, I’d look for this squad to make some moves.

Moving forward, the Knocker squad have two tough questions to ponder. Can the Rocket’s cute smile and “what, me worry?” attitude actually produce wins? And will the New Deal ever land a gig besides pre-game at Knocker Park? Let’s all tune in and see.

Who’s Hot: Orlando Cabrera, Roy Halladay, Jonathan Papelbon

Who’s Not: Dustin “Little Guy” Pedroia, Carl Crawford, A.J. “Dueschinski” Pierzynski

10. Ballgame

Previous Rank: 9

A Week Eleven win against supposed contender Jeters Pet Peavies now brings the Ballgame win count to a grand total of two - a stat still worthy of the Power Ranking cellar.

The Ballgame franchise has been plagued all season long by two things, inconsistent play from its stars (Ryan Howard, et al) and of course the ubiquitous snooze button.

A lack of roster balance has also hurt this squad. Though the Ballgame bullpen was highly touted coming into the season and was considered the league’s best if not the most plentiful, they currently own a 69-1 saves to holds ratio, which is by far the largest disparity in the league. In a league where a hold or two a week can win you the category, and where reliable holds guys are a dime a dozen on the free agent market, the holds category should not be so carelessly overlooked.

The Ballgame hold on last place is tentative at best- this team simply has too much talent. With Chase Utley putting up ridiculous numbers, Jacoby Ellsbury stealing a bag a day, and Ryan Howard looking generally alive, this team could be scary going forward. Though some tinkering should be done, if this squad is patient enough to wait on its talent, it could be a wild and crazy second half.

Who’s Hot: Ryan Howard, Francisco Rodriguez, Ryan Dempster

Who’s Not: Brett Myers, Blake Dewitt, Aaron Harang

3 Matchups to Watch This Week:

JAlter Hernandez v. Jesse & The Rippers – Another week, another mention for the Hernandez’s in this segment. Really, what would a matchups bit look like without Jalter? When we last left our sort-of beloved hero, he was toiling near the bottom of the league. Since then, he has dominated the likes of Cock Knocker, Suckada, and G & co, and now sets his sights on the potentially formidable Rippers. The question is, which Rippers team will show up this week? Their recent offensive stats have been impressive, but they will likely need to take a step forward if they will have any chance against The Great Jaltair.

Jeter’s Pet Peavies v. Braun’s Pet Bradleys – Two teams, one name template. After a lengthy survey, owners around the league agreed only one team should keep their ridiculous name after this match up. Truth be told, both these teams are struggling for wins currently, so somebody HAS to emerge victorious, right?

G&Co v. Fantasy’s Finest – Everyone has to be watching this matchup, right? Two of the best teams in the league should be a great draw…but this matchup has the lowest attendance of any series in the history of the MFMB league. This has plenty of reasons, not least of all that the FF lineup is duller than Erv’s knives and G&Co’s version of smack talk is currently lifeless and non-existent. But perhaps the most telling tale is that Ballgame jersey sales have increased 315% this week. Ballgame supporters around the country, nay, the World, are rallying to cheer their boys to victory over the hated PeePee’s this week. So go Ballgame!

Trade Talks - Vol. 1

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:17:00 -0400

Fresh off a week without Power Rankings, Coach Lou brings a new segment to the table. In Trade Talks, the mentor of moves shares his knowledge, breaking stodgy owners (Purce) from their ways and improving the overall quality of the league. Each team will be represented, with their best possible trade highlighted.

FANTASY’S FINEST

The Trade: Fantasy’s Finest Cole Hamels and Curtis Granderson for Suckadapeepee Grady Sizemore and Dan Uggla

Analysis: As the manager of the first place Fantasy’s Finest squad, Mr. Aiello has let it be known to all MFMGD that stud pitcher Cole Hamels is on the block. With the knowledge that his pitching staff is strong, Jim has targeted power as the last missing attribute necessary to elevate his first place team to true championship status.

Why it works for Fantasy’s Finest: With Hamels and Granderson somewhat expendable, FF picks up a ton of pop with Seizmore and Uggla. While the Marlins two-bagger is sure to slow down somewhat with the average, the power numbers are here to stay. On the other end, Grady Sizemore has started off somewhat slow, but with power, speed, and the ability to hit for average, Sizemore is a similar player to Granderson, only with a bit more consistency. With enviable pitching depth allowing such a move to be made, Jim instantly upgrades his offense - allowing Juan Pierre to assume his rightful place in Free Agency, and adding two big-time bats, while not weakening his pitching staff anywhere near the point of concern.

Why Suckadapeepee might accept: When looking at the wang-wang squad, there is clearly a solid foundation for a winning team. However, injuries and inconsistency has really hurt his staff, which could now be anchored by ace Hamels, allowing James Shields to slide back into the #2 slot he belongs in. Giving up Uggla leaves him empty at second base, but there are plenty of good options, including Orlando Hudson and Kelly Johnson. Swapping Granderson for Sizemore might not look good today, but if the Tigers offense comes alive in the second half, and Granderson plays the way he can, this could end up as a steal for the ding-dongs.

Odds of it going down: 20-1. HasNeverSuckada-a-vag-vag has been better this year, but still acts like a pussy when its time to pull the trigger.

JETERS PET PEAVIES

The Trade: JPP’s Matt Kemp, and Tim Lincecum for J&tR Garrett Atkins, Joe Saunders, and George Sherrill

Analysis: The Peavies have been sticking by Ryan Zimmerman for the better part of a year and a half now, and patience must be running thin at this point. We all know the kid has talent, but for a team trying to win now, a move might need to be made to upgrade the 3b situation. We caught up with GM Purcy at a local Babe Ruth league game, where he coaches in his spare time. After conversing with him on the subject, he spoke to his ace pitcher, who then uncorked this production. Suffice it to say, the Purce is the pissed.

Why it works for JPP: As currently constructed, there is a clear log-jam in the outfield for the Peavies. Two weeks ago, Matt Kemp was a brilliant acquisition who really stabilized the CF position for JPP (relegating the aforementioned Juan Pierre to his aforementioned home, free agency). However, with the recent call-up of uberprospect and soon-to-be namesake of the JAYter Pet Peavies, Jay Bruce has taken the league by storm and forced Kemp into an already crowded RF battle. Sending him back to his original team might be what is right for both parties. Giving up Tim Lincecum, who was aquired in a brilliant draft day trade with the Flying Jaltiars and saved us countless hours of hearing how he discovered him, would be a difficult decision to make. But by acquiring the steadily dominant Joe Saunders and George Sherrill, JAYPP will strengthen the their bullpen and add to a rotation still topped by Peavy, Wainwright, Grienke, and soon-to-be starter Joba Chamberlian.

Why J&tR might accept: J&tR manager Scribble-my-Nibble has shown to be a lot of things this year, but gun-shy has not been one of them. Garrett Atkins at this point is still a utility player, and therefore a luxury, while Kemp provides production in all offensive categories, and would relish the chance to come home. It is also no secret to anyone that Lincey has been a fan favorite of the Rippers GM for sometime now.

Odds of it going down: 10-1. The Peavies have been uncomfortable with messing around with their pitching staff, but the pressure of finding a 3b may become too much to bear.

GILLERMAN & CO.

The Trade: Gillerfag’s Scott Kazmir and Carlos Gomez for J&tR’s Alfonso Soriano

Analysis: According to the man, Mr. John Gillerman himself, his Co. is looking for an upgrade in runs and steals. With Gomez playing well, we will see if he still has the same opinion. While Micah Owings has been thrown around at nauseam, it might take a little more to get it done.

Why it works for Gillerfag: Somehow, Gillerfag has assembled an extremely impressive pitching staff. By using some of his riches here, his goal of finding one more stud bat with speed and who is on a good team and scoring runs should be an easy one. Soriano will then allow the Gillerman & Co. current enigmatic CF a chance to slide into a utility role, something he is clearly more comfortable in, even though both Giller and the Mets have paid him like a superstar. Taking Beltran out of the spotlight should only increase his production into the future.

Why J&tR might accept: It is no secret the Rippers are going through a tough time right now, especially with the inability for their starters to stay healthy. This trade would instantly upgrade the rotation while giving Scribilicous a young, fast, exciting player that he would love to root for, while providing insurance for the eternally slumpring Delmon/Markockis tandem in the outfield.

Odds of it going down: Slim to none. Gillerman has been holding tight to bench-relegated Gomez for a long time now, and after Soriano’s incredible week carried the Rippers to their first dominant win over the Charmers, neither of these studs seem to be moving anywhere.

SUCKADAPEEPEE

The Trade: Peepee’s Alex Rodriguez and Johhny Cuetro for Cock Knockers Roy Holliday, Shaun Marcum, and Youkilis

Analysis: This blockbuster gives Dapeepee the rotation depth he badly needs going into the second half of the season, while providing the reeling rockstar a cornerstone to build his foundation around and an instant draw as he tries to boost attendance and get that new ballpark in Wyoming.

Why it works for DaDingDong: Throughout his years in MFMB and previously Peed on My Laptop/IDidSmomFromBehind, da-wangwang has never been one known for the bold, blockbuster maneuver. But as time has gone along the dick sucker has become more and more like an actual human being. Will this transformation end with a big trade? Could be. A-Rod is his backbone, and Suckada does enjoy a good-looking offensive team, but his pitching does appear thin. But getting Yukofag to slide into the 3b spot and adding Holliday and Marcum to the rotation, the man we affectionately know as “The Cocksucker” will have the chance to make some serious noise, and increase his chances of actually kissing a girl to 1.3%, the highest it has been since he went on a double-date with Evan Alter and sounded like a mix of Shakespeare and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.

Why Cock Knocker might accept: The Knockers were once the feel-good story of 2008, but have hit a recent rough patch once stud reliever and team capitan Santiago Casilla hit the DL. Word among scouts is that Castilla may not be back to 100% this year, and unfortunately it looks like it might be time to rebuild for the Rockstar. While giving up a lot on the pitching end, A-Rod would become a Cock Knocker keeper into next year, and a pillar for the franchise for years to come.

Odds of it going down: 50-1. Is there even internet in Wyoming?

PROSEPHS BROSEPHS

The Trade: PB’s Hunter Pence and Francisco Cordero for FF’s Cole Hamels and Jon Rausch

Analysis: Although authorities have been investigating certain racial profiling that allegedly has been occurring in the Brosephs outfield, it does not seem to stop the Prosephs from making these suspicious trades. It seems like if you stand in the way of an Asian playing the outfield, your days are numbered for the Blowsephs, and Pence’s time has come. FuckYouDoMe – Stud Mo-nay.

Why it works for the brosephs: When looking at the Broseph squad, if there is a weakness, it has to be starting pitching. Both Sheets and Bedard have been on the shelf this year, so an upgrade of the rotation would make the Proseph squad balanced and ready to go into the second half of the year. That, and the kid hates non-Asian outfielders. It’s as simple as that.

Why Fantasy’s Finest might accept: Again, Jim has put Hamels on the market, and it is no secret that he is looking for an upgrade on offense. Hunter Pence is a solid pickup who has been hot, and could spell Granderson if he continues to slump.

Odds of it going down: 5-1. Hamels is on the block, Pro likes Chinese food. And possibly chicks.

COCK KNOCKER

The Trade: CK’s Carl Crawford and Kevin Youkilis for G&Co’s Carlos Gomez, Micah Owings, and Evan Longoria

Analysis: It has been no secret around the league that the Knockers have been given a tough time by the league office as they try to relocate the organization from Central NY to Wyoming. While Knocker owner Scotty Rigglesworth’s smile has melted all of his fellow managers hearts along the way, the unemotional, iron-fist Commish of MFMB has demanded raw numbers, including average annual attendance and the gross national product, before he Blammys the blammy to the new blammy. With this in mind, the shrewd owner of the Cock Knockers has been injecting young, exciting players into the squad, bringing about a whole new brand of ball. With Longoria the centerpiece of this deal, the keepers of Santiago Casilla, E. Longoria, and Zach Hope should bring excitement to the yard every day for the new squad in Wyoming. I just hope they keep the Cock Knocker Crimson.

Why it works for the Knockers: Shaking up the team by adding speed, a young starting pitcher on a good team, and a future star would excite any owner, especially one who has finally started to smoke weed again.

Why G&Co might accept: While Gillerfag is mighty giddy about his team currently, it never hurts to tinker, and for a team that is primed to win now, this type of move is one that could clearly put him over the top and into the rarified territory of Jalter_Hernandez 1.0.

Odds of it going down: 50-1. Again, is there any internet in Wyoming?

BALLGAME

The Trade: Ballgame’s Chase Utley and Tim Hudson for FF’s Curtis Granderson, Cole Hamels, and Edison Volquez

Analysis: This is what they call an ol’ fashioned Blockbusta’. Fantasy’s Finest Jimbo has been very conservative this year, but a wise man once said, “You can take the fantasy owner out of the trade, but you can’t take the trade out of the fantasy owner.” With that said, Jimbo can smell the chance at a deep postseason run with this team, while Ballgame can begin a rebuilding process that includes a functioning alarm clock for next March.

Why it works for Ballgame: Two young, stud pitchers would immediately upgrade Ballgame’s starting pitching, and Curtis Granderson could make a huge impact with a big second half. A trade like this could provide Ballgame with the jolt it needs to get on a roll this year, while also keeping an eye on developing youngsters into the future.

Why Fantasy’s Finest might accept: Everyone knows Jim has been itching for a big trade, and with Utley sliding to 2b and BJ Upton moving into center, this would certainly be a tough team to beat. Taking Cole and Edison out of the rotation would be tough, but adding Hudson to an already stacked rotation would make the impact minor, if noticeable at all.

Odds of it going down: 9-1. Big trades like this are tough to make, but it works for both teams, and we have all seen crazier things.

JALTER_HERNANDEZ

The Trade: JH’s Jason Bay and Billy Wagner for FF’s John Lackey and Jon Rausch

Analysis: Even the great Jaltair crystal ball could not have predicted the injuries/suckiness that have affected his rotation. With an offense that looks to be coming together and starting to play well, some tinkering, even for the greatest thinker of our time, could be good for this squad.

Why it works for the Jalter’s: With C. Young and Pedro out and question marks, the Hernandez could use another arm. Lackey, just back from injury, plays on a good team and should have a lot of bullets left in that right shoulder. Jason Bay at this point is playing well, but is still a luxury for Mr. Alter, and when Ryan Church comes back, the loss will be very minor.

Why Fantasy’s Finest might accept: Jim is willing to give up some pitching for offense, and right now Bay is a huge upgrade over Joey Votto in left. This trade would balance his team even more, leaving him with a still strong pitching staff and a solid offense with no glaring weaknesses. The Finest lasted for months with Lackey on the DL, so the loss would not be devastating.

Odds of it going down: 8-1. Might be tough for Hernandez to give up the self-anointed “comeback player of the year” but this trade fills needs for both teams. And compared to what Jimbo has been up to, anything seems like a good idea.

JESSE & THE RIPPERS

The Trade: J&tR’s Miguel Cabrera, Felix Hernandez, and Joe Saunders for Coach Sojo’s Charmers David Wright and Dan Haren

Analysis: It might just be time to blow it up and start over again. This J&tR team clearly has the talent to compete and excel, which makes many scouts wonder about the chemistry in the locker room. Many believe that Miguel Cabrera could be the source of this, with all kinds of rumors flying around that he pulled a Rick “The Wild-Thing Vaughn” and bagged Yunel Escobar’s mom. Others say he just wants to get as far away from Carlos Guillen’s hemorrhoids as quickly as possible. Be that as it may, it could be time for the Rippers and Miggy to part ways.

Why it works for the Rippers: Send a message to the team that nobody is safe. With a healthy core of Wright, Fielder, and Soriano, J&tR would be building a team for this year and the future, which is really what he always wanted since drafting all 20-year olds with 99 speed in Madden ‘06. Bringing home Haren would reunite the team and clubhouse, bringing them back to the winning mindset they had way back last season. He would also be adding the charismatic Wright, who scouts have said has a smile matched only by GM Scribby-nuts.

Why the Sojos might accept: This team is also built to win now, and adding these explosive pieces could bring the Sojos to new levels. Saunders brings much needed pitching depth. But by reaquiring longtime mainstays Cabrera and King Felix, it allows GM, Coach, and all around nice guy Lucious the chance to bring these youngsters back on track. They performed well for him in the past, why would that change now?

Odds of it going down: 6-1. These two GMs have been puss-footing it around all season, but there comes a time when real man decisions must be made.

COACH SOJO’S CHARMERS

The Trade: The Charmer’s Matt Holliday for Suckadapeepee’s Joakim Soria and James Shields

Analysis: Let’s just say what has been on everyone’s mind: The Natural, Josh Hamilton, should be a keeper on someone’s squad THIS YEAR. After a rocky time in his life, Hamilton has reemerged to drop bombs like he’s “Smom playing slow pitch softball”. This Sojo’s team can and will win without Holliday, but whether they can win without some depth at starting pitching is questionable.

Why it works for the Charmers: Holliday has been a fan favorite for a long time in Sojo’s land, but there is a new King of the Roost. Hamilton has shown no signs of an eventual slow-down, and the Sojo’s GM has shown no interest in moving his young stud. Moving Holliday would be a tough, but possibly necessary move.

Why the pee pee might accept: Who knows what goes on in this guy’s head. I mean really, buying a jacket that matches Jaltairs? This Giambi/Rick Ankiel platoon shit might cut it in “some other leagues he won in 2007”, but not here in the MFMB. Holliday brings another big bat to an already strong lineup. Moving Soria and Shields would weaken the rotation slightly, but with shrewd free agent signing Rafael Soriano expected to get some saves in Atlanta, and with Cabrera and Duchscherer emerging as consistent pitching options, the offensive addition would be worth it.

Odds of it going down: approx 1.1 billion-1. Suckada won’t trade his fringe players, let alone #2 ace Shields. And Louey loves Holliday like Pro loves re-runs of Tila Tequila, so good luck finding him on the cheap.

Well, that about wraps it up for the first installment of Trade Talks 2008. Now let’s get some chatta!!

-Lou, with some additional help by supplemental coach Scribs

Voxtrot - Brother In Conflict

Thu, 29 May 2008 08:57:29 -0400

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My American Heart - The Shake (Awful Feeling)

Thu, 29 May 2008 08:57:29 -0400

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